Consider The Fire
By: Day
Have you ever wondered why
the biggest dating app of all time was called
TINDER?
Before this esteemed dating app was named Tinder,
it was called Matchbox.
FIRE FIRE
The people who designed this app, for bad or worse, accidentally understood at a fundamental level the most important elements of conversation.
Ring of Fire - Johny Cash
Break the ice.
WARMING UP TO HER.
HEATED.
OLD FLAME.
And in male to female human connection, conversation is the mother that births a relationship.
Tinder is but the wiley kindling, the fuel to grow a burning fire to its heat giving potential.
Tinder ranks below even the match.
As a fellow human being,
I struggle to think of a more important skill for getting what you want out of life, a jetpack up the hierarchy of needs, than mastering the art of conversation.
Adam stood incomplete in and of himself.
It was only after Eve was placed into the realm of Eden beside him that God said it was good.
A man is complete with a woman.
As I sit here, Daisy rubbing my feet, and I sip my double mezcal mixed with an Italian sparkling water and a splash of orange juice, sitting in my Hermes linen lounge pants, I think… God knew what He was talking about giving us an Eve. And Grapes. Agave. And the blessed finest garments.
A relationship with the opposite sex is like a fire burning.
You need all components.
Yet, men obsess over the stupid fucking match.
What to say, how to approach, all that dated fossilized pickup artist misander.
Relax buster.
People sit around a raging fire roasting s’mores and killing Golden Lights with zero thoughts spared for the match that started said fire.
The match matters for about 3 seconds.
You either live or you die.
I was reading Jack London’s To Build a Fire when all these thoughts and polymusings flooded my brain.
Forget winning her over in the first sentence.
You are only striking to see if anything catches.
In London’s story the man lights a fire. He succeeds. But he pulls a twig from the tree overhead, and as he pulls it a pile of snow falls upon him and his fire, extinguishing it.
This is how most of you fuckers are running conversations with women.
They get a spark, remember they are talking to a WOMAN, and the snow falls.
Oh I want to help you so badly, it is so blazingly easy if only you could see, and after this essay indeed you will see.
And you got a box of unlimited matches on unlimited logs buss.
Will Cleopatra set ablaze? Well, it is up to you.
Gerrit van Honthorst, The Matchmaker, 1625
WARNING
Reading the full of this essay will endow you with complete understanding of how to get relations with a woman. Only read ahead if you actually want one of God’s daughters. He deals harshly with the abusers. Use this weapon with discretion.
Free sheep, this is where I lose you in the freezing Yukon tundra. Build your own fire.
Wolves, into the den, throw a log on. THE FIRE IS ABLAZE. Spark a Marlboro and let’s gooo.
FIRELIGHT SPIRIT
Enter the bar with me. I hold the door as you walk in. Speakeasy on the East side. We are already eyeing the top shelf mezcals, smiling at each other.
Have you but wondered why the lights in bars are so dim? Why the fancy dinners you take your fine girly to have a candle on the table?
We have a mundane, sun risen, everyday life conversation style, and we have a nighttime, bonfire lit, stars leaving the surface of the glimmering sea to enter the sky at night conversation style.
An anthropologist named Polly Wiessner studied Bushmen conversations day and night. During the waking hours, talk revolved around gossip, politics, the weather, and all the lower realms of conversation topics.
When the night bestowed itself upon the earth and the fire was set ablaze, conversations shifted to stories, myths, and song. Ascended into the heavenly realm us humans can grasp at.
Understand you have two modes of talking, and your job now as an artist of the conversation is to enter into the second space.
The fire conversation is where we fall into love.
Let’s build a fire.
WAY ONE: STRIKE A MATCH
Notice. Interpret. Invite.
I hate interview style conversations. It sucks the life out of me and I start speaking like a robot with zero life blood flowing. We all hate this because it is anti art. It is the opposite of beautiful.
If you start interviewing her, it is equivalent to inviting her to a fire and asking her to bring the logs too.
Fuck that, here are the 3 wolf moves.
NOTICE SOMETHING
Her crazy cocktail she is nursing. Her ugly friend ditching her for some yankee hat wearing empty chalkboard guy. Her impressive style in a begrudgingly ugly dive bar. An angel in the gutter.
INTERPRET
Add yourself into the matrix equation of her reality. Enter the game buster.
“You look like you were dragged here.”
“That drink looks like it came from space.”
“Is your friend getting kidnapped?”
INVITE HER TO PLAY THE GAME
You are tossing a bone. Will she fetch it?
She can agree, laugh, ignore, explain, or whatever the fuck. It is on her now if she blows on the fire to strengthen the flame.
“Where you from?”
“England.”
“So what do us Americans get so very wrong about your wonderful land?”
If she is wet wood, she will stay wet through infinite matches. Find the fucking dry wood.
THIS WAS ONLY THE FIRST WAY. THE OTHERS GET NUTS.
FULL ESSAY ON SVBSTACK// DAYDAYDAY
