They get along well. They laugh a lot. There are many drinking parties. Yet, bad numbers don't come up. Troubles are discovered only after it's too late. Policies pass through without anyone objecting, even when they are flawed.
Such an organization isn't one where people get along poorly. Rather, it might be one where they get along too well.
The closer you are to someone, the less you want to rock the boat. You postpone a bad report just a little. Even if you think something is wrong, you swallow it in the moment. You hold back what needs to be said out of consideration for others.
The accumulation of these moments makes a team fragile when it matters most.
It isn't bad relationships that weaken a team. It is the atmosphere of avoiding friction to protect the appearance of getting along.
By the way, to the business owners reading this:
If you think the reason employees quit is a lack of salary or benefits, the real reason might lie elsewhere.
I have a document that organizes the differences between companies where retention doesn't change even with more systems, and companies where people stay even without flashy welfare, based on data and field experience.
I am giving away a white paper titled "Strengthening Companies Through Food" on my official LINE.
▼ Receive via official LINE
After adding as a friend, send the word "White Paper."
Now, to the main topic.
① There Are Two Types of "Getting Along"
Getting along isn't a bad thing. The problem is the substance of it.
There are two types of "getting along."
One is comfort. No waves are made. People are considerate of each other. Opinions don't diverge.
The other is trust. You can speak your mind. You can offer dissenting opinions. You can bring bad reports.
These two seem similar but are completely different.
And if you only increase the former, the latter becomes harder to grow. This is because in an atmosphere that avoids conflict, it becomes difficult to voice candid opinions.
Research on team learning and performance has reported that an environment where people can candidly exchange opinions shows a positive correlation with team learning behavior. [Primary source verification needed / Psychological safety research]
This is a study dealing with correlation and does not prove that "being candid will always lead to results."
However, the safety mentioned here is not about being "soft." It means that even if you say something awkward, the relationship won't break. That is exactly why you can say what is necessary.
The goal is not a workplace where no one gets hurt. It is a workplace where relationships continue even after speaking the truth.
Practical Methods
- Treat meetings where opposing views were voiced as "successful meetings."
- Always ask "Is there anything else we missed?" once at the end of a meeting.
- Verbally say, "Thank you for telling me something that was hard to say."
② Organizations Where Bad News Comes Out Early Are Strong
You can tell if a team is strong in a crisis by one thing: whether bad information comes up quickly.
When people get along too well, this actually becomes harder.
You delay a report by a day out of consideration for the other person. You keep it to yourself because you don't want to cause trouble. You say "It's fine" and hide the problem.
That kindness expands the wound.
Problems that could have been fixed if known while small only come to light after it's too late.
What matters is not just reducing mistakes. It is that mistakes are shared quickly when they happen.
Therefore, do not blame the person who brings a bad report first. You can make the "delay in reporting" an issue, but do not corner people for the "occurrence of the problem."
Organizations that can speak up early can fix things early. Organizations where it's hard to speak up find out only when it's too late.
Practical Methods
- First, thank the person who brought the bad report.
- Think about "how to fix it" together before asking "why it happened."
- Point out delays in reporting, but do not blame the occurrence of the problem itself.
③ Trust Is Born from "Sweating Together," Not Small Talk
To deepen bonds, people increase drinking parties or plan company events. What increases then is intimacy. Intimacy is not necessarily trust.
Trust is not determined by the amount of fun time spent. It is born from the experience of working toward the same goal and overcoming difficult situations together.
Yesterday, in Oyama Town, Shizuoka Prefecture, I witnessed a rice harvesting experience.
The participants included the representative of a listed company and new graduates who had just joined. There were members from different stores and roles who usually don't speak to each other.
At first, everyone had tense expressions.
However, once they started harvesting the rice, the atmosphere changed.
How can we harvest faster? How should we carry it for better efficiency?
Words were naturally born, roles were created, and their hands began to work in harmony.
At the end of the work, everyone sat on the path between the fields and ate rice balls. The stiff expressions from the morning were gone.
What was impressive was that the representative himself was sweating in the mud.
Instead of giving instructions, he stood in the same row and did the same work. That sight must have been fresh for the young employees.
Positions and titles become flat for a moment in the rice field. What you see there is not the person's title, but their true self.
A day like an adult field trip, riding the bus. For the young people who will work in the same company, it becomes a good time to open up to their peers.
Trust is not born just because seats are close. It is born from the memory of facing the same direction and moving your hands together.
Practical Methods
- Create opportunities a few times a year for everyone to do the same work, regardless of rank.
- Intentionally design for the "process of overcoming together" rather than just results.
- Those in higher positions should join in the field work themselves.
④ "Not Wanting to Break the Relationship" Stops Necessary Change
There is another pitfall in friendly workplaces.
Because you want to protect the relationship, you become unable to say what needs to be said.
You don't caution someone who needs it. You don't get the people who need to move to move. Even if standards are not met, you prioritize the atmosphere of the moment.
Kindness gradually turns into stagnation.
"Protecting the relationship" and "protecting the team" sometimes clash. When that happens, if you continue to prioritize the relationship, the standard of work drops.
Saying things that are hard to hear is not an act of breaking the relationship. You can say it precisely because you believe in the other person.
Avoiding saying it is, in the long run, a way of disregarding the other person.
Therefore, hold onto the work standards before the relationship. If standards are shared, pointing something out becomes a confirmation, not an attack.
Practical Methods
- Share work standards before deepening relationships.
- Verbally convey that hard-to-hear feedback is "proof of trust."
- Prioritize the agreed-upon standards over the atmosphere of the moment.
⑤ The Goal Is Not "Getting Along," but "Wanting to Work Together Again"
You must not measure the strength of a team by the goodness of its atmosphere.
It's not the number of drinking parties or the amount of smiling.
What you should really look at is whether the relationship is one where you want to team up again after overcoming a tough situation.
Working hours and turnover rates are visible in numbers. But "wanting to work with this person again" does not show up in numbers.
And that is often the reason why people stay at a company.
The reason employees quit isn't just salary or systems. Connections with people and teams, the fit between oneself and the workplace, and what is lost by leaving—these ties to the workplace are also related to turnover intention and actual resignation. Research also shows that people with a high sense of belonging to their workplace have lower turnover intentions. In other words, feeling that "I have a place here" can be one of the reasons people stay at a company.
This feeling cannot be bought with benefits. It grows in the memory of overcoming difficulties together.
Relationships that are only fun only last while things are easy. Relationships where you sweated together function precisely when things are painful.
Practical Methods
- Use "Do I want to work with this person again?" as an indicator of the relationship.
- Accumulate memories of overcoming difficulties together, not just fun times.
- Think of retention not as holding people back, but as "reasons to want to stay."
Summary
① There Are Two Types of "Getting Along"
Comfort and trust are different. Foster the latter.
② Organizations Where Bad News Comes Out Early Are Strong
Protect the ability to speak up early over what actually happened.
③ Trust Is Born from "Sweating Together," Not Small Talk
Accumulate memories of overcoming together, not just intimacy.
④ "Not Wanting to Break the Relationship" Stops Necessary Change
Hold onto work standards before the relationship.
⑤ The Goal Is Not "Getting Along," but "Wanting to Work Together Again"
Look at the relationship of wanting to team up again, not the atmosphere.
What these five have in common is not denying getting along, but not making getting along the goal.
Getting along is a good thing. But it is not the goal; it is the result of repeated good work.
A workplace that doesn't rock the boat isn't strong. A workplace where the relationship doesn't break even when the boat rocks is strong.
From a "team that gets along" to a "team that can overcome friction." When what you measure changes, the way you build an organization changes too.
Finally
Strong teams aren't strong because their seats are close. They are strong because they have the experience of facing the same direction and sweating together.
The scene I saw in the rice field yesterday taught me that.
Titles become flat for a moment, and you see the other person's true self. You overcome difficult work together. Finally, you share the same rice balls.
These kinds of experiences cannot be created in a conference room.
Food and agriculture have the power to return human relationships to a flat state for a moment.
If you think the reason employees quit is salary or systems, the real reason might lie elsewhere.
I have summarized that way of thinking in a white paper called "Strengthening Companies Through Food."
Before increasing systems, how do you first create a place for employees to belong? I have organized those hints from data and the field.
▼ Receive via official LINE
After adding as a friend, send the word "White Paper."
