I Found My Human Sun
The sun here is a woman I love and who loves me; she compensated for the world.
I found a woman whom I love and who loves me, and so the world, with all that it contains, became less lonely, and life, with all that it holds, became more worthy of being lived.
A woman with whom I do not need to appear fine when I am not, nor explain myself at length to be understood, nor be in my best state to feel loved.
I love her because with her I can be myself, without pretense, without fear, and without having to hide the parts of me that life has exhausted.
"I found a woman I don't need to be at my best for her to love me."
She did not compensate for the world by making me independent of it, but by giving me a place to return to when I tire of it. I began wanting to tell her about the details of my day, about the song I liked, about a fleeting idea that crossed my mind, and about small things that mean nothing to anyone else, but I know she will listen because they happened to me.
I want her in my ordinary days, in times when nothing worth mentioning happens, and in years where details blur together, until her presence becomes part of my life that I do not need an occasion to celebrate.
"I want to live a life with her to the extent that I wish my entire life had been within it."
I love her because she does not make me fear my sadness, and I do not feel with her that I must be strong all the time. Because she understands that a person sometimes needs someone to listen without seeking a solution, and someone to stay close without demanding an explanation for their silence.
And I love her because I want to be for her what I loved for her to be for me: a safe heart, gentle companionship, and someone who does not make her question her status, nor ask her to be a complete woman to deserve love.
"I do not want to be the most capable person at saying 'I love you,' but the most careful not to make you doubt its meaning."
I found my human sun, and I no longer search for another life I wish to live.
I want this life, with all that it contains, as long as she is part of it. I want us to grow old together, and for many things to change in us without losing our ability to rediscover each other. To disagree without intentionally hurting each other, to get tired without forgetting gentleness, and to choose each other because we want to, not because we fear loneliness.
For love, as I see it, is not finding someone who makes your days always bright, but finding someone you love to share the days with, even when they are not bright.
"You are my human sun; not because you make all my days beautiful, but because I love my days more since you became part of them."
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