INFJs are not just kind people.
Rather, they get hurt more deeply and sink lower than others.
But when they turn that emotion into power, they emit an extraordinary strength and brilliance.
Watching Mayu Matsuoka makes this process very clear.
During high school, Ms. Matsuoka was almost completely isolated for two years in a performing arts school.
Lunch alone.
Paired with the teacher for PE.
While everyone else blended in naturally, she felt like she was the only one floating.
People with the INFJ temperament will understand this pain.
You can't fit in with superficial conversation. Yet, there's no one to show your true self to.
As a result, you reach the feeling of "no one understands me..."
However, Mayu Matsuoka didn't end there.
There is a common process when an INFJ makes a comeback.
The Comeback Process Learned from Mayu Matsuoka
1. Acknowledge your weak self
INFJs have high ideals. Therefore, they keep blaming themselves for what they can't do.
But Ms. Matsuoka says, "My feelings changed once I admitted what I couldn't do."
This is the turning point.
INFJs break while aiming for perfection. But in reality, they reboot the moment they acknowledge their weakness.
When you can think, "I'm just getting started," self-denial turns into the recognition of being in the middle of growth.
2. Change the meaning of suffering
When she saw Sakura Ando's acting in the movie "Shoplifters," Ms. Matsuoka was so depressed she thought about quitting acting.
Normally, it might end with "our talents are just different," but she was different.
She turned that frustration into "I want to overtake her."
INFJs have strong emotions. That's why, depending on the meaning assigned, it can become despair or a driving force.
"Loneliness" -> I can now understand other people's pain.
"Frustration" -> I found something I seriously want to aim for.
"Couldn't do it" -> I saw room for growth.
An INFJ's comeback isn't about willpower. It starts with the interpretation of thoughts.
3. Don't bottle up emotions alone
INFJs are very bad at relying on others. The feeling of "I don't want to be a nuisance" comes first.
But when Ms. Matsuoka was playing a difficult role, she would call her mother and cry, saying, "I can't do this anymore!"
This kind of action is actually quite important.
INFJs break if they lock up their emotions. Conversely, they recover if they can vent to a safe person.
There is even an anecdote that because her mother didn't take it too heavily and let it slide lightly, she was able to become calm.
What an INFJ needs is not a lecture, but a place where they can safely fall apart.
4. Turn introspection into growth
INFJs think too much. So if they aren't careful, reflection becomes self-attack.
But Ms. Matsuoka wrote reflection notes after every project.
She wrote down her weaknesses and applied them to the next one.
The accumulation of these actions is huge.
Instead of using sensitivity—the strength of an INFJ—as it is, turn sensitivity into improvement.
If you just get depressed, it ends there. But people who can bring it down to "What's next?" are truly strong.
5. Turn your pain into a weapon
In Ms. Matsuoka's episodes, there is the loneliness of her high school days.
The experience of not fitting in. The feeling of not being understood.
Normally, that would be a dark history, right?
But Ms. Matsuoka uses that feeling in her acting.
In "Amachan," she layered her inner walls onto the role, turning it into a deep performance.
INFJs are delicate and easily hurt. But those wounds also become the power to understand human emotions.
Turning your wounds into power
Watching Mayu Matsuoka, you can see the true strength of an INFJ.
They aren't weak because they are delicate.
They can give meaning to emotions, organize them, and turn them into expression for someone else.
When they reach that point, an INFJ doesn't end as just a "kind person."
Even a lonely past turns into the power to save someone.
Why not use Ms. Matsuoka as a reference to create a chance for change?
I also post about the comeback process that utilizes INFJ characteristics. If you want to return to a state where you can fight again in life, follow ➔ @torao_carrier
