When you're wondering if you should consider marrying someone, the key things to check are whether they respect your "freedom," "choices," and "opinions."
Men who become abusive or unconsciously view women as their accessories fundamentally prioritize their own will over the woman's.
Therefore, when "what I want to do" clashes, they won't compromise, and if they don't like a woman's choice, they try to force her to change it.
Essentially, they cannot understand that a woman has her own will and the right to make choices about her life, so they believe they hold the decision-making power over their wife.
"Food-stealing" types and those who ignore boundaries share the same root. They see their wife as an "accessory" rather than an "individual with a will," which leads to such incomprehensible behavior.
To be honest, this is heavily influenced by the environment they grew up in. And it usually doesn't change.
The soul of a three-year-old remains until a hundred. For a child, the home is the entire world and the source of all rules. It is impossible to overturn values acquired in childhood as an adult unless the person truly wants to "change their life."
And almost 100% of the time, these men don't want to change. To them, changing feels like "giving away rights they were supposed to have for free."
(They might improve slightly if threatened with a breakup or divorce, or if they are deeply embarrassed, but the root doesn't change, so they will cause similar problems again.)
One common trait among men who "seemed kind before marriage but changed completely after" is that they were "quite controlling." Controlling behavior is a restriction of freedom and choice.
That is a clear yellow flag.
Before getting married, watch out for whether they "interfere too much" or "respect your opinion" regarding the following:
- Making personal plans for fun
- Friendships
- How you spend your own money
- Hobbies and preferences
- Work and career style
- Future dreams and goals
- Clothing, hairstyle, and makeup
Be careful if they interfere with things that should be "none of their business."
Honestly, there are many other things you should check before marriage. I have an article that explains this thoroughly from a matchmaker's perspective, so if you're not married yet, please check and save it 👇
97 Things to Check Before Marriage: "Is This Person Okay?"
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