People who are easily tossed around by their emotions can actually use those emotions as a weapon.
This isn't just a platitude; after facing the careers and lives of over 500 people over 7 years, I am quite convinced of this.
People with INFP, INFJ, or ADHD tendencies tend to blame themselves like this:
- "I think too much"
- "I care too much"
- "My motivation has waves"
- "I get frustrated easily"
- "I dwell on people's words too much"
- "I want to move, but for some reason, I can't"
But I believe there is a diamond in the rough there.
The problem isn't that your emotions are strong.
It's that you keep blaming yourself without knowing how to handle your emotions.
People with strong emotions are not weak people.
People whose emotions move easily are often misunderstood as having a "weak mentality."
But the reality is a bit different.
Strong emotions are proof of a delicate emotional sensor.
- You care about a casual remark from someone.
- You immediately notice changes in the atmosphere of a place.
- You try to read the true intentions from the other person's expression.
- You can't ignore the sense of discomfort within yourself.
- A frustration you can't put into words stays in your head for a long time.
This is certainly exhausting, isn't it...?
But at the same time, it is also the power to notice things that others overlook.
Especially "Introverted x Intuitive x Feeling" types like INFP and INFJ are prone to picking up on small discomforts happening inside themselves.
"I kind of hate this"
"Something feels wrong"
"This person seems like they're actually pushing themselves too hard"
"These words seem kind on the surface, but something is bothering me"
People with these sensations are by no means weak.
Rather, they have a high resolution of emotions.
However, if you can't verbalize your emotions, you won't be able to handle them yourself.
That's why you blame yourself, saying, "I'm troublesome" or "It's my fault for thinking too much."
What you really need is not to blame yourself.
It is to understand your own emotions.
Emotions are not something to be erased.
Emotions are information.
- Anger might be a sign that something important to you was treated poorly.
- Anxiety might be a sign that preparation is needed.
- Sadness might be a sign that you cared about it that much.
- Envy might be a sign that you actually want to go there too.
- Impatience might be a sign for the future that you don't like things as they are now.
In other words, emotions are not the enemy.
They are notifications that tell you your true feelings.
However, many people suffer from the notification sound alone without reading the notification.
"I feel frustrated"
"It's somehow painful"
"I don't feel motivated"
"I don't want to see people"
"For some reason, it's painful"
If you stop at this state, emotions become something that tosses you around.
But it changes when you look one level deeper.
- I thought I was angry, but I was actually lonely.
- I thought I was anxious, but I was actually afraid of being unprepared.
- I thought I lacked motivation, but I actually didn't want to fail.
- I thought I started hating people, but I actually wanted to be cherished.
- I thought I was procrastinating, but I actually didn't want to see myself unable to do it perfectly.
When you can verbalize to this extent, emotions are no longer just noise.
They become information for knowing yourself.
Emotional intelligence is not the power to suppress emotions.
It is the power to accurately read emotions and use them to move reality.
People who are tossed around by emotions do not have too many emotions.
Their emotions just don't have names yet.
3 Ways to Turn Emotions into Weapons
First, I'd like to recommend these three.
Having strong emotions is not a handicap in life.
However, it is also true that if you don't know how to handle them, they can cause you suffering.
Whether you are INFP, INFJ, have ADHD tendencies, or have emotional waves, what you need is not to blame yourself.
- Read your own emotions.
- Know your own startup conditions.
- Learn how to handle yourself.
That's all.
Emotions that cannot be verbalized toss you around.
But emotions that are verbalized become weapons that move you forward.
That's why people who are easily tossed around by emotions have more potential.
You are not weak.
You just don't know how to use your emotions yet.
Your emotions aren't heavy.
You just don't know how to handle yourself.
In my note, I delve deeper into these 3 steps and have summarized "how to handle yourself" in a way that is easy for INFP, INFJ, and people with ADHD tendencies to use.
■ Complete version note
Instruction Manual for People Tossed Around by Their Emotions
