Please Stop Pretending You're an ABG

there is a specific breed of asian american in sf that is becoming the planet's most despicable subpopulation. it is annoying to have conversations with them because they have nothing to say. they go to parties where you have to pull up your X for a vibe check before you can get in. these are the men who dream of getting into yc and enjoy social climbing on the weekends. but the apex of all of sf asian american tech stupidity have got to be the asian women who want to transform themselves into abg (asian babygirls) to peddle saas to the manosphere.

a few weeks ago, i saw an advertisement for abg cmo that made me wanna kms. the founders of that platform are actually 2 asian men which was sadly predictable (you can always count on men to monetize women).

however, yesterday, i saw something that topped it: **a workshop happening this weekend to turn yourself into an abg**, complete with makeup tutorials and lessons on how to go viral on x. there is only one thing worse than calling yourself an abg and asking other people to become abgs; it's being flamed on the internet that you are not one.

Mage!🩸!🍧

@mahou_mage

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Apr 28

Even asian girls just abusing the term ABG to mean literally anything now.

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Katie Chen

@dear_kxtie

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Apr 27

Hosting an ABG / ABB maxxing event

in SF May 2nd

I’ll teach you how to get your makeup done so you can get some huzz

RSVP down below

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first of all, why would you, as an asian girl, willingly objectify yourself to begin with? secondly, if you want to objectify yourself, why don't you do it with taste and for something less embarrassing than b2b saas?

there is something curiously similar about these girls that reminds me of the asian fraternities at my college a decade ago. during senior year at michigan, there was a famous talent show that happened every year. every year, one of the asian fraternities would do a step dance. they would come out in white track jackets and sweatpants, hollering among themselves, stomping on stage with their chests puffed out. as they performed this traditionally black dance, the black fraternities would laugh at them. in spite of the reception, they would do it every year, as if it was important to prove to everyone, or maybe just themselves, that they were cool, which they were not.

there are consequences of growing up not knowing who you are. i grew up in taipei and never inherited ideas like asian people weren't cool or that my lunch was smelly or asian men weren't hot. but when i came to the states, i realized that part of the asian american experience is a deep sense of confusion. maybe you grow up with parents who singularly tell you to focus on studying. you're surrounded by tv and movies where you don't see yourself. you don't know your mother tongue, mother country, your parents' stories, etc. to assimilate into america, you lose your heritage. you lose yourself. or worse, you never had a strong sense of self.

maybe in that blindness, asian americans grasp for something to hold onto–something that makes them feel relevant or cool. ten years ago in michigan, it was step dancing. today in sf, it is becoming an abg--a baddie, an asian girl who wears hoop earrings and has duck lips and tattoos...but come on, just stop it...you probably still have your math olympiad medals at home.

when you don't know your culture, you try to co-opt other people's. unsurprisingly, the origin of abg culture comes from literal asian american gangs in california. similar to step dancing, these are identities that came from urban cultures. there's plenty of conversation about how asian americans love to co-opt black culture, and i believe it has to be rooted in this lack of identity that so many asian americans have.

but part of growing up is individuating–maybe you had tiger parents or never had hobbies, but it's up to you to fix that, to grow, to read, to do something with yourself. if you don't individuate, then you get stuck in an infinite, hollow game of maximizing your social status.

maybe why asian american girls are willing to do this–to become "abg"s–is that they think it's a gimmicky thing to do on x. they don't even see the deeper implications, which is that it reflects a lack of self, like you are someone glad to try on a new skin, because there was nothing underneath it to begin with. and somehow, the collective consciousness of asian americans is so goddamn low that these types of things are still socially permissible.

listen, if you're an abg, you already know you are one. if you're not, you also already know. and that's okay, because there are an infinite number of ways to be asian. there are more creative ways of standing out. you don't need to fit any mold. all you have to do is look in the mirror.

one of my favorite essays is on self-respectby joan didion. i will just finish this with a quote from her:

if we do not respect ourselves, we are on the one hand forced to despise those who have so few resources as to consort with us, so little perception as to remain blind to our fatal weaknesses. on the other, we are peculiarly in thrall to everyone we see, curiously determined to live out—since our self-image is untenable—their false notions of us...it is the phenomenon sometimes called alienation from self...

...to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves—there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect. without it, one eventually discovers the final turn of the screw: one runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home.

please, for everyone's sake, go home to yourself.