**
https://x.com/nonchii_dayo/status/2096140001977508033
This is a report of a woman who was told "No one really sobs, you know ☺️" and then proceeded to sob uncontrollably just minutes later during her ICL surgery.
Fear, Pain, and Recovery Vary by Person
The people who had surgery before and after me went home looking completely unfazed, so I think I'm just in the extremely cowardly category.
"How scary was it really?"
"Did it hurt?"
"Could you see right after?"
"How was the next day?"
I'm writing everything down while the memory is fresh.
I hope this report helps anyone who is "interested in ICL but absolutely terrified."
Note: This is just my personal experience. Pain, vision, and recovery vary. Please read this as just one person's story!
First, I want to show the world to those happy people who have no need for ICL
How people with good eyes see.
**
How our world looks when our eyes are finished.
Isn't it crazy?????
You can't even tell there's text on the poster, the rainbow has only two colors, and the bear has no face.
After getting a comfortable morning through ICL, I'm convinced of one thing:
Bad eyesight makes you 50% sleepier.
Until I put in my contacts, everything was as vague as a dream. If I had been born 500 years ago, I would have died in a ditch. Thank you, modern medicine.
The One Thing I Cared About When Choosing a Hospital
Since it's eye surgery, I was extremely careful about choosing a hospital. I chose a place where I could be operated on by an "ICL Expert Instructor." Apparently, there are only about a dozen of them in Japan. Since these are my precious eyes, the only thing I really obsessed over was "who" would be performing the surgery.
Three Pre-op Exams. Surgery Six Months Later.
I had three pre-op exams! Most people seem to have two, but because I had a long gap after my first one, I had to do a third. Also, no contacts for one week before the exam. I had to spend that time in glasses, which is surprisingly tough for someone who always wears contacts.
I was cleared for ICL, so I booked it! I received eye drops to use starting three days before the surgery. My biggest worry at this stage was not losing these eye drops!! I kept them on the top shelf of the refrigerator.
There was about a six-month gap between booking and the surgery, so it didn't feel real even as the date approached. I used the antibiotic eye drops four times a day starting three days prior, but it still didn't sink in.
However, I know I'm a coward. During the final exam, when they measured my pupils by touching my eye directly, I was already letting out small screams. (I mean, they touch your eye directly!)
So, for the day of the surgery, I decided to practice mental imaging:
"I am a fish on a cutting board. I will think of nothing. I will simply be a lying fish."
My friends told me, "It's scary, but it's over in 10 minutes, and it's so comfortable afterward!" The brochures also mentioned that tension could cause fatigue or bloodshot eyes.
I just wanted to finish without panicking.
I can be a fish for 10 minutes.
That's what I thought.
My Heart Starts Racing Just Marking for Astigmatism
Surgery day.
I arrived and first got eye drops to dilate my pupils and anesthetic drops. Once the anesthesia kicked in, they said, "Since you have astigmatism, we're going to put marks on your eyes."
Apparently, if you don't have astigmatism, you don't need this step. Must be nice.~~~~~~~~~~
It felt like my eyeball was being pressed, and I was terrified. My heart started racing.
It's over. I can't be a fish.
...Or so I thought, but they gave me the "calming medicine" I had requested in advance. After about 20 minutes, I really did calm down. Thank goodness. During that time, they applied eye drops to suppress redness, dilate pupils, and anesthetize my eyes over and over again.
Seriously, so many times. It felt like over 10 times in an hour. After a while, maybe because my pupils were dilated, the jewels on my sandals looked hilariously sparkly.
Wait.
Maybe I CAN be a fish after all!?!?!?
.........
Did you know humans feel more despair after being shown hope?
"No one really sobs, you know ☺️"
My name was called, and it was time to standby. I was third in line. Thanks to the medicine, I was still feeling pretty composed.
Me: "Does anyone ever cry...?"
Nurse: "Some people have physiological tears, but no one really sobs ☺️"
Me: "Oh, I see! Then I'll be fine!"
Actually, the people coming out of the operating room looked totally fine, like nothing happened. They weren't even shouting "I can see!! Amazing!!" or anything; they were just normal.
Does it not hurt at all?
Is it not scary?
Okay, I guess it's fine~.
That's what I thought.
YOU SHOULD HAVE CRIED, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I Was Relaxed Enough to Nap in Front of the OR
When I was second in line, I waited right at the entrance of the operating room instead of the waiting area. I was still so relaxed that I actually fell asleep. I woke up when the sliding door opened and hit my head. Awkward.
Finally, it was my turn. I was sleepy, and the anesthesia effect made me feel like I could do this!
The operating room was cold, but they covered me with a fluffy blanket. I love warm blankets in cold places, so I felt happy.
Okay.
I am a fish.
A fish on a cutting board.
Think of nothing.
Just lie there and it will end.
It was impossible.
I was whimpering.
"It's not a man holding your hand~"
I had originally planned to ask the nurse to hold my hand. But once I lay down, my stomach felt that "drop" sensation. I felt like having my hands on my stomach would be more reassuring than having them at my sides, so I switched to a prayer-like pose.
The assistant nurse was male, so the doctor might have misunderstood and said, "It's not a man holding your hand~."
I knew that, or rather, I didn't care at all.
No, doctor.
It's just more reassuring to have my hands on my stomach!!!!
I was desperate.
The Surgery Begins
Finally, the surgery started. In my case, the sensation of eye pressure rising and the feeling of the iris being touched after the lens was inserted was just terrifying. I felt light pain, but more than that, the fact that "my eyes were being touched" was scary.
Impossible.
"Can you please put your hand over mine!!!"
I had the nurse place their hand on mine.
First, the right eye was finished. Then to the left eye.
**It's impossible.
My sleepiness vanished.
**Gone.
I just want comfortable vision.
"Can I hold your hand while keeping mine on my stomach? Can I keep my legs bent?"
And then I squeezed with all my might.
I had about 1mm of sanity left thinking "I hope I'm not hurting the nurse..." but it probably actually hurt. I'm so sorry, nurse...
The Longest 30 Seconds of My Life
After the lens was in and adjusted, they spent about 30 seconds washing the inside of the eye... I think.
Those 30 seconds.
They were the longest 30 seconds of my life.
Not yet?
Not yet???
"20 seconds~"
Which is it? 20 seconds passed? 20 seconds left?
"10 seconds~"
So there were 20 seconds left initially~~
Was 30 seconds always this long?????
And then, finally, it was over.
It's done.
IT'S DONE!!!!
...However.
"Could you please not let go of my hand...?"
The fear I had been suppressing during the surgery came flooding out the moment it ended. I couldn't calm down at all.
As the hand started to pull away after the successful finish, I grabbed it desperately.
"Could you please not let go of my hand...?"
I left the room while still holding the nurse's hand. They seemed to be smiling, but was that actually a strained laugh?
When I closed my eyes, I felt a dull pain. Is this okay!? I was in a mini-panic.
And there I was, sobbing.
This was just minutes after being told, "No one really sobs ☺️."
I lay down on a bed for about 20 minutes, and surprisingly I calmed down and went back to the waiting room. It wasn't so much that I calmed down, but as I regained my senses, shame suddenly outweighed the fear.
After that, I waited to pay and get my eye drops.
During that time, more people kept coming out of the operating room.
Everyone looked unfazed.
Totally normal.
Are you all being remodeled into robots or something?????
A Few Hours Later — "Wait, I can see perfectly"
At the end of the surgery, they gave me eye drops to reverse the pupil dilation. Although I felt my vision improve immediately, there are individual differences in recovery, so I was told, "Your vision might be different between your left and right eyes today."
In fact, at first, my left eye felt a bit cloudy, and I wasn't used to the halo/glare effect where light looks blurry.
"Is this going to be okay...?" I was a little worried.
But in my case, a few hours later, both eyes were seeing very clearly, and I barely noticed the halos or glare anymore.
The nurse said the brain eventually gets used to the halos.
My brain is so talented.
Note: The dull pain I mentioned earlier went away as soon as I took the painkiller, and it didn't hurt even after the medicine wore off!
Personally, I think halos and glare are more noticeable in dark places.
The Next Morning — "Wow, there's nothing wrong"
Because I was afraid of dry eyes right after surgery, I frequently used the prescribed sodium hyaluronate eye drops.
You can buy these if you want them.
"How many bottles would you like?"
"Usually 2 or 3."
"Then I'll take 3!"
We had that conversation, and the total was about 900 yen.
Apparently, they only take cards for 1,000 yen or more, and I didn't have cash in my wallet, so I ended up buying 4 bottles.
Whether it was thanks to that or just my constitution, I felt incredibly comfortable from the moment I woke up the next day. No discomfort, absolutely nothing.
(If I looked closely, there was a tiny bit of redness on my right eye, but that was it!)
It's the best!!!!!!
I wake up and I can just see. I don't have to put in contacts. I don't have to look for glasses. I don't even care that I have 3 extra bottles of eye drops, it's that comfortable!!!!!
Even though I was thinking "No way, no way, no way" during the surgery, now it's super comfortable!!
Note: I'm generally a fast healer, so my recovery speed might not be the best reference.
Conclusion: I couldn't be a fish, but I'm glad I did it
To my pre-surgery self:
You cannot be a fish on a cutting board. You will be scared. Very scared. You will squeeze the nurse's hand with all your might. It's a nuisance. And then, you will sob.
It's pathetic, it's embarrassing.
But the next day—actually, just a few hours later—you'll be saying, "It's so comfortable!!!!"
I'm glad I did it...
I got a cool card and case with the lens information on it.
By the way
A few years ago, when I had my wisdom teeth pulled,
I asked, "Does anyone ever cry...?"
And after being told, "No one really cries,"
I sobbed. After it was over, I called my friends and family while crying my eyes out, telling them how scared I was...
It's frustrating that I haven't grown at all.
