Write concrete sentences so that the reader's interpretation doesn't waver—so that even if 10 people read it, there is only one possible interpretation. I used to receive a lot of feedback because I couldn't do this myself, so I've summarized my notes from that time here.
① Include Proper Nouns
- Instead of "There was feedback from the client," use "There was feedback from Manager Tanaka of Company A." Instead of "We introduced a new tool," use "We introduced Salesforce." This alone makes the interpretation of the sentence unambiguous.
- When there are proper nouns, whether there are 10 or 100 readers, they will all have the same interpretation. On the other hand, collective nouns like "client," "tool," or "stakeholders" require the reader to perform a mental search for "which client?" That task is subtly taxing, and the search results vary completely from person to person.
② Break Down Verbs to the Level Where You Can See the Other Person's Body Movements
- Personally, I think this is the most important. The biggest culprits that make business writing ambiguous are overly broad verbs like "confirm," "consider," "handle," "promote," or "take over." Even if the writer intends to give an instruction, the recipient has no idea what they should actually do.
- There is a clear example in "The Overview of Document Communication (Volume 2)": "Speed up → Reduce the work time of Task 1 from XX hours to XX hours by [Month]." "Improve efficiency → Mechanize the work of XX so that the required number of people can be reduced from XX to XX by [Month]." "Ensure thoroughness → Do not allow basic errors to occur in payroll operations throughout the year."
- "Confirming" can mean different actions: opening an email, making a phone call, checking a management screen, or going to ask someone. The moment you write it, the reader has to choose one from all these options themselves. Moreover, they carry the risk of being told, "No, that's not what I meant."
- Therefore, break it down to something like: "Please look at the Salesforce opportunity list screen to see if the status of Company A's project is 'Closed Won'." At this level, the recipient will move their mouse immediately after reading. Doing this every time might feel like micromanagement, but if you are in a state where you could write this specifically if needed, you can adjust the level of detail depending on the person.
③ Write Like a Definition of a State
- When writing goals or policies, I recommend writing them as a completed state—"is doing" or "has become"—rather than an action.
- Even if you write "Strengthen sales capabilities," honestly, nothing comes to mind. What are sales capabilities? What constitutes strengthening? If you rewrite this as "A state where the win rate for new deals consistently exceeds 30%," it becomes easier to visualize the goal. This is useful for goal setting, planning, policies, OKRs, kickoff materials, and reviews.
④ Include Numbers
- "Early," "a few," "thoroughly," "as much as possible," "a little." You could almost delete all these expressions from business writing.
- The person told "Please do it early" cannot judge whether that means this evening, tomorrow morning, or next Monday. If they play it safe and rush to finish it "by today," and the other person says, "Oh, next week would have been fine," they feel like a fool for working overtime. It's a common story.
- To prevent this, write deadlines, quantities, and frequencies with numbers. "By 6:00 PM on Friday, April 18th," "The top 3 lost deals from the past 3 months," "Once a week for 30 minutes." Even if it's a hassle for the writer, if the writer doesn't take on that hassle, every single reader will have to. Since the writer's hassle is smaller than the sum of all the readers' hassles, you should nail it down properly.
⑤ Provide a Comparison Point
- "Performance is strong," "The situation is tough," "It has improved." You can't judge if it's truly strong or tough. Even if told "Sales are 1 million yen this month and performance is strong," it's still not convincing because there is no comparison.
- When talking about degree or change, add a benchmark. "Compared to the same month last year," "Compared to the figures in March," "Compared to Plan A," "Against the target value." Whether this one phrase exists or not makes a huge difference in how it's communicated.
- Even in situations where it's hard to include numbers, at least include a sense of comparison. Just writing "Smoother than last year's project" or "Taking more time compared to the predecessor's approach" makes it easier for the reader and writer to align their mental images.
Don't Push the Writer's Hassle onto the Reader
I've listed five points, but in the end, it's just one thing.
The writer should anticipate and eliminate ambiguous parts in advance.
That's all it is.
Ambiguous writing is, in short, "writing that pushes the hassle of interpretation onto the reader." The writer has it easy just writing "Please confirm," but the five subordinates who receive it each have to perform a search in their heads for "What does confirm mean?" The writer's 30-second shortcut results in a ripple effect of reading work and recovery from misinterpretations for every reader.
That said, it's quite hard to do all five perfectly every time. However, I think it's worth taking a breath before hitting the send button and asking yourself, 'Can the other person move without hesitation with this sentence?'
If you think, "Yeah, they might get lost," try adding just one thing: a proper noun, a verb, or a number. Even that will change things significantly.
I hope this memo is helpful when:
- People don't move the way you wrote.
- Conversely, there are members around you who write vague sentences.
By the way, I run a membership where you can read over 250 articles summarizing this kind of field knowledge for 500 yen a month. I write with a focus on content that helps you "become capable at work and go home on time," "be able to freely choose your career through side hustles or job changes," and "understand how to properly use generative AI in practice." Please take a look if you're interested.
