When you think your individuality is being utilized, it might actually just be being used up. Looking at the recent controversy surrounding Ano-chan's departure from "Ano-channel," that's what gave me the biggest chills.
It started when Ano-chan named Sarina Suzuki as a "celebrity she dislikes" during the program. Subsequently, Ms. Suzuki expressed her discomfort, and the program issued an apology. On the surface, it sounds like typical entertainment news.
"Is the person who said it at fault?"
"Is the program that aired it at fault?"
"Is the person who got angry overreacting?"
The usual hunt for a culprit. Yes, the internet's specialty: everyone-is-a-judge mode is now in session.
But having lived a long time, I've realized something. If you only look at who is to blame in these stories, you miss the essence. What's scary is the structure where someone's individuality is used because it's "interesting," but the moment things get risky, that person is left to stand in the line of fire alone.
## The "Honest Character" is Used for Convenience
Ano-chan's charm lies in her ability to break through predictable harmony.
She doesn't read the room too much. She doesn't hide behind pretty words.
Where most people would smooth things over with "Oh, everyone is wonderful~," she says things that sound strangely like her true feelings.
That is both her vulnerability and her appeal. But this is incredibly difficult to manage. "True feelings" can easily become a blade if handled incorrectly. Like a kitchen knife: it's great for cooking, but dangerous if swung around. (Obviously.)
Therefore, if a program markets "honesty," it should originally consider "how far to go," "who might get hurt," and "how to protect the person's character." Airing it just because it's funny, emphasizing it with captions for ratings, and then apologizing when it blows upโthat's not crisis management; it's a fire-starting experience.
What's scary about this case is that Ano-chan's individual remarks took on a life of their own. A program has planning, editing, and a decision to broadcast. In other words, that one comment was both "something she said" and "something the program decided to release to the world."
Moreover, Ano-chan herself has reportedly told the program in the past, "I don't like this expression" or "Please stop because it will make the guests feel bad." Even this time, after making the remark, she reportedly said, "You have to bleep my comment, or it'll be unfair to the other person," but that part was apparently cut from the broadcast.
This isn't just a story about an "honest character running wild." The person herself felt it was dangerous. She knew it might hurt the other person. So she asked them to stop, to protect her through editing. Yet, nothing changed. If so, this isn't just an individual's slip of the tongue; it's a story of an organization dismissing the concerns raised on the ground.
## "Disposable Individuality" Happens Regularly in Companies Too
This isn't just about the entertainment industry. Similar things happen normally in companies, families, and community groups.
For example, there's someone who can speak clearly. People around them say, "It helps when you speak up." There's someone who can change the atmosphere. They're told, "The place brightens up when you're here." There's someone with a strong sense of responsibility. They get piled with work because "You'll see it through to the end."
At first, these sound like compliments.
"Your uniqueness is great."
"I want to leave it to you because it's you."
"That character of yours is what makes it work."
But is that really being respected? Or is it just being used for convenience? If you don't distinguish between the two, you'll eventually find yourself in a dead end.
I saw a similar situation years ago. It was a workplace where people from several dispatch agencies gathered to work together. Naturally, complaints arose: "Only that agency is being used," or "Work isn't coming our way."
At that time, a person who had been a long-time part-timer at the main company spoke up to the boss on behalf of everyone. "Please improve this." I think they just wanted to make the workplace better. Because they had worked there so long, they saw things others didn't.
But the words that came back were:
"Don't give opinions when you're just a part-timer."
There it is. An old OS that measures human value by job title. They've probably been ignoring update notifications for 20 years.
The atmosphere in the room didn't turn to anger; it turned cold. When the time and sincerity a person has cherished are crushed in an instant, the place becomes strangely quiet.
That person eventually quit. And neither the people around them nor the company stood up for them.
In times like these, the true nature of people and organizations comes out. Usually, they can say, "We value the voices of those on the ground." But when someone actually raises their voice, do they listen, or do they silence them? That's where the true identity of the place is revealed.
## Unprotected Individuality Becomes a Mere Consumable
People shamelessly lean on the strengths of others. They want cheerful people to always be cheerful. They want kind people to forgive them forever. They want honest people to say the truths they can't say themselves.
Then, the moment a problem occurs, it becomes:
"Well, I didn't think they'd go that far."
"Their way of saying it was a bit much."
"Well, that's just their character."
The post-hoc self-defense move. They were saying "that's great" just a moment ago, but the second a spark flies their way, they suddenly distance themselves. Humans are fast when things get inconvenient. So fast you'd think they could compete in the Olympics.
There is a difference between a place that utilizes your individuality and a place that treats it as disposable.
A place that utilizes individuality looks at the person's boundaries. They think, "Is this okay?" "Can we put this out?" "Will the person be hurt by this presentation?" They don't just praise you when things go well; they step forward with you when things get dangerous.
But a place that treats individuality as disposable is different. They praise you as long as you get ratings. They laugh as long as the atmosphere is lively. They say "it's so you" as long as it's convenient. But when trouble occurs, they make it "the individual's problem."
This is what's scary.
Regarding Ano-chan's decision to leave the show, I don't see it as mere selfishness. The decision to leave a place that doesn't protect your credibility is very important.
When I was young, I didn't understand that well either. I thought it was right to meet expectations. I thought even if I was treated a bit roughly, I should be grateful to be needed. I felt bad for saying no. I thought if it would break the harmony, I should just endure it a little.
But as you live longer, you realize. That "little bit of endurance" accumulates.
Initially a small sense of discomfort, it becomes normal before you know it. You laugh even when you hate it. You say "I'm fine" even when you're hurt. You say "I can still go" even when you're at your limit. And finally, you don't even know what you disliked in the first place.
This is the most dangerous part. Your own boundaries become invisible even to yourself.
## The Phrase "Being Yourself" is Sometimes Dangerous
"Being yourself" seems like a good phrase. But if used incorrectly, it's quite dangerous.
"It's okay because it's so you."
"It's forgiven because it's your character."
"You can do this much because it's you."
When told this, it's hard for people to refuse. Because it feels like your value is being recognized. But in reality, it can be a magic phrase used to exploit a person's strengths.
I think it's the same in human relationships. "I'm expected to." "They aren't bad people." "I'm gaining something too." While saying these things, people sometimes stay in places where their hearts are already being worn down. But that's like stuffing old clothes into the closet of your heart. You don't wear them anymore, but you're letting them live there rent-free.
## What Matters is Not "Being Used," but "Being Protected"
In the end, this is what you need to look at. There are people who will use your strengths. But how many people will protect your strengths?
The more capable a person is, the more carelessly they are relied upon. The kinder a person is, the more conveniently they are leaned on. The more someone can't say no, the more they are treated as "someone easy to ask."
And when the limit is reached, for some reason, they are told: "You should have told me sooner."
No, shall we hold a championship for "Who was it that didn't create an atmosphere where I could speak up?"
There are times when not isolating the person is more important than issuing an apology. Even if it looks like they are taking responsibility in words, if the person involved feels "unprotected," that relationship is already in danger.
## Leaving is Not Losing
Of course, I'm not saying you should run away from every place immediately. If it's a relationship where you can talk, then talk. If it's a misunderstanding, clear it up. If it can be improved, it should be.
But there are places where the same thing happens over and over. There are people who treat your boundaries lightly even after you've communicated them. There are people who say they will protect you but end up using you as a shield.
Leaving such a place is not losing. Rather, it's a decision to protect yourself.
Individuality can be a weapon. However, if you entrust it to a place that has no intention of protecting it, it becomes a mere consumable. Being used and being utilized are different. Being praised and being valued are also different.
Having lived for 66 years, I think it's faster to judge people by their attitude when a problem occurs rather than by their words when things are going well. It's better to choose someone who protects your "I don't want to go beyond this" rather than someone who says "Your uniqueness is great."
Similarly, if you've ever felt "Am I the only one enduring this?" in your workplace or relationships, please come back and read again. I am verbalizing the fuzziness of human relationships and work styles from the perspective of someone who has lived for 66 years. Follow me.
@layla_biz
