"Is it just us?"
This is a phrase I hear so often from couples who have started looking for a home.
Both are working hard in a dual-income household. Yet, when they see the price of a house they like, it's completely out of reach.
"Is our income too low?"
Every time I'm asked this, I always tell them: It's not your fault.
Here is why...
You might be blaming the wrong thing for that "shortfall"
So many people feel like their income isn't enough. But that is likely incorrect. To be precise, you are blaming the wrong person. It's not your income that is lacking.
It's not your fault you can't buy a house
The numbers make the reason clear. In the first half of 2026, the average price of a new condominium in the Tokyo metropolitan area exceeded 100 million yen. This is the first time the six-month average has topped 100 million.
During the bubble era in 1990, a new condo in Tokyo's 23 wards averaged 62.2 million yen. Even then, people said it was "too expensive" and "unaffordable for ordinary people." Now, it is nearly double that.
While the metropolitan area is extreme, this isn't just a big city story. Nationally, new condos average around 59 million yen, and detached houses are at their highest prices since surveys began. The same trend is happening nationwide to varying degrees.
It is said that dual-income households with annual incomes in the 5-million-yen range, who were once the main players in regional housing markets, are now starting to fall out of the "home-buying" bracket. This isn't a story about special people; it's happening to ordinary, hardworking families.
Meanwhile, what about wages? "Real wages," which subtract price increases, have been negative for four consecutive years through fiscal 2025. Even if nominal salaries rise, they aren't keeping up with inflation. While there was a slight recovery in early 2026, it's predicted to sink below the surface again this autumn.
The tricky part is that nominal wages are increasing. Because the numbers look higher, people blame themselves, thinking, "We're making more, so if we can't buy, we must be bad at managing money." But prices for goods and houses are rising faster than those nominal gains. When you factor in inflation, the money you can actually use has effectively decreased.
Please don't misunderstand this. The price of a house has risen toward 100 million yen, but your take-home pay hasn't caught up at all. Furthermore, the reasons for rising prices—soaring construction costs, labor shortages, land scarcity in city centers, and the influx of foreign capital—have absolutely nothing to do with how hard you work every day.
You can't buy a house not because your income is low, but simply because salaries aren't keeping pace with the speed of rising house prices. It's not just your problem. A house you could buy 10 or 20 years ago with the same household income is completely different from what you can buy now. The house you can afford with the same money has become one or two sizes smaller. It's not a lack of effort; house prices just ran ahead.
"But everyone around us is buying normally, right?"
Some might feel uneasy here, thinking, "Even so, my friends and colleagues are building houses normally..." But the reality for those who seem to be buying normally is usually one of the following:
- Receiving 5 to 10 million yen in assistance from parents.
- One partner has a very high income.
- They are borrowing to the absolute limit, knowing it's a stretch.
- They are buying in an area you wouldn't choose.
Photos of new homes on social media don't show the background. That's why you feel like "only we can't buy," but in reality, many families are stuck in the same place as you.
However, it's dangerous to just feel relieved and stop there
Some might feel relieved thinking, "Oh, it's just the era's fault." I understand that feeling. But you shouldn't stop there. "It's the era's fault" is a fact, but that fact won't solve anything. Couples who stop there often end up with one of two regrets.
One is the pattern of overextending to buy anyway. They take out a pair loan to the limit, thinking, "We both earn, so we'll manage." But we are in an era where interest rates will rise. If one person gets sick, takes childcare leave, works shorter hours, or changes jobs, the moment two incomes become one, the repayment will suddenly crush the household budget. This often happens during child-rearing years when expenses increase.
The other is the pattern of giving up and stopping movement. "It's expensive now, so let's wait." I understand this too. But while you wait, you continue to pay rent, and that rent is also rising. There's no guarantee prices will drop in a few years; the only things decreasing are your age and the remaining years you can take a loan. A 35-year loan taken at 35 ends at 70. If you wait until 40, it ends at 75. The longer you wait, the more repayment eats into your retirement.
Whether you overextend and get stuck or wait and find it even more out of reach, both regrets stem from the same root: trying to manage "everything."
It may be harsh, but in this era, "everything" is no longer possible
So, what should you do? In this era, a "full-featured" house is no longer feasible. Your parents' generation could often get everything—central location, new construction, spaciousness, financial leeway, two kids, and a stay-at-home parent—for a few times their annual income. But now is different. Trying to get everything in a 100-million-yen era will inevitably cause strain somewhere, usually in the household budget or the family's lifestyle.
What you really need is not to know "how much you can borrow," but for the couple to decide beforehand "what is most important and what to give up."
Here are the options for what to give up. None are easy, but read them with the premise that you can't have it all:
- Give up on location: Move from city centers or popular stations to suburbs, local-only stations, or neighboring prefectures. This is where the price changes most. It means admitting, "That town is no longer possible with our current income."
- Give up on new construction: Buy a used home and renovate only what's necessary. The "newness" fades in a few years, but the price difference lasts 35 years. Insisting on new construction might be the most expensive form of vanity right now.
- Give up on size/rooms: Children's rooms can be partitioned later. You can compensate for smallness with layout, but you can't reduce an excessive loan payment with ingenuity.
- Give up on the "forever home": Let go of the illusion of a home for life. If you assume you'll move as your life stage changes, your first home can be small and cheap.
- Give up on buying right now: Not buying is a valid strategy. Instead of buying at a peak and getting stuck, stay mobile in a rental. You can invest the money you would have used for a down payment into index funds to keep pace with inflation.
- Give up on "buying by yourselves": Receive help from parents. However, this comes with strings attached—they will likely have a say in the location or layout.
Increasing housing costs means cutting back on the number of children, education funds, retirement savings, or the freedom to change how you work. A house is a "vessel" for a family. If you sacrifice the family's life and future options to make the vessel grand, the priorities are backward.
So, what should you "prioritize"?
Try this: Each partner writes down three things they absolutely cannot compromise on. Then, show them to each other. Usually, they won't match. But seeing that gap is the start. Decide on one or two things to protect until the end. The order is always the same: decide what to protect before looking at properties.
"Giving up" is not losing
Seeking everything in this era actually hurts the family more. Families who choose what is most important and let go of the rest are the ones living happily even in this high-price era. It's about choosing the life inside, not the size of the vessel. Don't blame yourself, and start by talking to each other.
For couples who want a conversation starter
If you find it hard to discuss without arguing, I've summarized how to reconcile differing opinions in my book: "The Book to Read When Couples Clash Over Buying a House."
https://link.amazon/B07cmzihx #PR
