Hello, this is Yuka Kageyama.
I'm intruding on your timeline.
Netflix's "Downtime" has finally started streaming. 👏
I am honored that so many people have already watched it and shared various reactions.
Yoshiko and Hinano during their dance practice.
I play Tachibana Hinano, the best friend of Yoshiko, who changes her life through plastic surgery.
This is a precious role I was selected for in auditions. (Thank you!)
From here, I will try my best to avoid spoilers while sharing what I felt after working on this project and reading everyone's comments. Please note that these are just my personal thoughts.
A major theme of this work is plastic surgery.
What impressions do you have when you hear the term "plastic surgery"?
Some view it positively, others negatively. Some feel it is close to home, while others see it as a distant world.
(I am not in a position to evaluate or criticize specific opinions.)
I also thought a lot about this during this period.
About plastic surgery.
About beauty.
And about "my own worth."
Why do we want to change in the first place?
For example,
If someone says "You look pretty" or "You've lost weight," I am happy. I rejoice prematurely.
It is not just because I can recognize that my appearance has become more beautiful, but because I feel happy knowing that person has been watching me closely enough to compare my current state with my past self.
I am a bundle of desire for approval.
Turning words received from others into spells, I continue to strive for further charm. Everyone must have had such an experience.
However, compliments can also become curses.
Spells are curses.
The day after being told "You've lost weight," maintaining that figure might become an obligation.
If told "You look prettier now," yesterday's self might become a place you cannot return to.
The wish to "become beautiful" often transforms into the duty to "remain beautiful."
"I want to be beautiful for myself."
Of course, that is a genuine emotion.
But within that "self," there are surprisingly many other people living: loved ones, friends, family, colleagues, strangers seen on SNS, old gossip, compliments.
Does a "pure aesthetic sense of mine" remain after removing all of them?
Is my desire to "be beautiful" truly entirely my own voice?
I acted while thinking about these things.
Yoshiko and Hinano. Actually, I was the first actor to finish filming at the location shoot 💐
Also,
Beauty has no clear limit.
Naturally, cosmetic medicine has medical safety standards and specialists like doctors.
But ultimately, the point where one feels "this is enough for me" cannot be determined by numbers alone.
There are plenty of people who say "You can be even prettier," but only you can decide "It's okay to stop here."
Beyond the blue, beautiful ceiling lies a black hole that blinds our hearts.
While warning about the danger of pursuing beauty,
I also think the phrase "Love yourself as you are" is irresponsible.
As seen in episodes 1 and 2, modern society often evaluates people based on appearance rather than ability.
In such a world, when considering how to direct "effort," I understand why skills and education rank alongside appearance.
In a world where we must take responsibility for ourselves, it is okay to have moments where you don't love who you are, and it is okay to wish to change.
There is freedom to change, and freedom not to change.
Then there is also freedom to quit halfway.
There is freedom to try, realize the beauty of raw stone, and want to go back.
However, as someone who stands before the public, I want to articulate that there are often scenes where one regrets realizing the irreversibility of beauty.
You are beautiful.
Your beautiful parts are known to you.
...After pondering this for a while, my thoughts returned to the title of this work: "Downtime."
In the drama, Dr. Rin describes downtime as "the precious time between the cocoon breaking open and the butterfly being reborn."
Comparing post-surgery bandages to cocoons. How apt.
I also love butterflies.
I love them enough to own two LINE stickers of nameless, text-free butterflies.
A butterfly spreading its wings is beautiful.
Scattering glittering scales, flying freely.
The pupa stage is necessary for becoming a butterfly; it is the butterfly's life itself.
Yet, regarding our own lives, we tend to focus only on "the moment we became a butterfly."
Achieved a dream. Became beautiful. Became someone.
Those moments are easy to understand, and others celebrate them.
But most of life happens in between.
Time when dreams aren't yet realized. Time when you don't know who you are. Time when you may or may not learn to love yourself.
I will surely continue wanting to become someone.
I want to act better. I want to learn more. I want to have dreams and achieve them. I want to love myself.
If you want to be a butterfly, you must become a pupa.
At least, unless we are organisms that undergo incomplete metamorphosis.
Don't discard yourself for being "in the middle of changing" or "not yet anyone."
I want to be able to trust myself for choosing to become a pupa.
In "Downtime," I feel I learned about my "way of becoming," rather than judging right or wrong.
I took voice acting lessons to study for the role! I was happy to get a student ID.
Spoiler P.S.
Hinano-san thought the trendy "frenemy" was the worst frenemy ever, making her just an enemy. Sorry.
Finally, a quiet announcement.
My photo essay Kage Made Aishite (Loving Even My Shadow) was recently released, and we are holding a reprint commemorative handover event in Osaka 📚
Please come if you are interested ☺︎
https://enta-go.com/shop/event/EV2600013
Date/Time: Oct 3 (Sat) 18:00- / 19:00-
Location: HMV SPOT Tennoji
Check the book details below. It contains unadorned sentences without cuteness. 🦋
#Downtime #DowntimeOnNetflix #Netflix #YukaKageyama #KageMadeAishite
